things you do in an airport.

when you are delayed.

because your flight from Baton Rouge to Raleigh through Atlanta arrives late. Weather. You get to Atlanta and off of the plane just as your connecting flight is taking off...Blast off. That's what you think. Like this: Blast off. Fast-OFF! Shit. It's gone. Pissed off. And you sigh. Loudly. It is just so satisfying to sigh out loud.

1. Drink a Starf*cks grande vanilla latte, easy on the vanilla.
2. Listen to your itunes - Beck, Midnight Vultures.
3. Think about your went-to-bed-at-1 am, woke-up-at-5 am bleary, achy, stinging eyes.
4. Wish you'd been able to get presents for your nieces and nephews before you left the red stick. Great big fabulous one-of-a-kind STUFF.
5. Wish you hadn't wasted so much time agonizing over the "right" gifts so you could have arrived to Raleigh like Aunty-Santy-Claus instead of empty-handed, like, "I'm HERE! You lucky bastards. Now, LOVE me!" Ugh.
6. Wonder if your hair will hold up in all this traveling. (You're impressed with your 7 minute 5:35 a.m. blow-dry-in-the-dark.)
7. Think: I will not be mad at and an asshole to my dad when I see him. I will not be an asshole. I will not be an asshole.
8. Try to remember the last time you were home. You cannot remember it clearly to save your life. You think it may have been February 2007, and you were sorting through your mother's belongings with your sisters.
9. Wonder why the Asian family sitting beside you thinks it's okay to peel open and eat a rectangular tin full of stinky fish.
10. Wish you'd gone all the way with the vanilla in your latte. Maybe it would out-power the fish smell. Probably not.
11. Watch an old man sitting on the ground across from you pick his teeth. He is wearing a kelly green short sleeved Tommy Hilfiger button-down collared shirt, brown belt, khaki pants - cuffed, navy dress socks, shiny penniless penny loafers. You can tell these are his "casual travel clothes." White guy. Bald. Definitely a business traveler. Certainly a golfer.
12. Convince yourself: You will not act like an asshole. You will be loving. You will be forgiving. You will be kind. Kind and collected rather than cool and collected.
13. There is a semi-rehearsed conversation starter in your head. "Dad, do you know that I've been mad at you?" You wonder if you will use it. Or any related conversation starter for that matter.
14. Make funny faces at yourself in iphoto.

SONG: Nicotine & Gravy, Beck