I will not quit this blog, even when I have nothing riveting to share (which is probably more frequently than less).
I will not quit exercising, even on days when it seems like it is doing NOTHING (like today).
I will not quit writing, and working at writing, and trying to become a writer who writes for a reasonable living.
Some things I am having a hard time quitting.
I am having a hard time quitting being angry at my dad for getting remarried when he did and how he did, even if he is happier now. Maybe that makes me angry too.
I am having a hard time quitting procrastinating studying for the GRE, which I take in 15 days (I've studied, just without any real gusto or regiment. I mean, does anyone actually study for the GRE with gusto?)
I am having a hard time quitting being mad about a lot of things. A friend of mine who I've known since I was eleven, but I don't feel like writing about it at the moment. About my mom dying. I'm not good at being angry unless it happens in an explosive outburst that ends in a few seconds to thirty minutes. After that, the way it feels to be angry is uncomfortable and like I don't have a right to feel it - and so in anger, I try to be calm, collected, happy and/or unaffected. But BEING something and FEELING something is two different experiences that can happen simultaneously, and sometimes they align and other times, they do not align.
Right now, I am having a hard time quitting being in a place of feeling, feeling, feeling everything. Both Feeling and Being so emotional and inside of myself that I can't even articulate events, details or observations properly. How can I quit that? Feeling and Being emotional?
I am having a hard time using my words. Remember what teachers tell you when you are little and having a difficult time expressing what's happening inside of you? Use your words. Use your words. Use your words.