Friday, December 2, 2011


Tomorrow my son will be three months, which means he is officially no longer a newborn, but an infant. I never new there was a marked distinction until I saw it on the internet yesterday.

Overwhelmed is a word that has been in my vocabulary too much lately. I feel overwhelmed, still. There are still days, like yesterday, and probably today, when I don't make it out of my pajamas. I constantly feel as if I don't know what I'm doing or wonder if what I'm doing is "right". I look at job postings, because I need to find one, but I feel incapable of writing a clear, articulate cover letter. My brain feels like mush. Taking Desmond out on a walk in the evening feels like a major accomplishment. If the dogs come along, it is an even bigger accomplishment.

I don't know how women who go back to work at six or even twelve weeks manage. At the same time, I don't think women who go back to work soon after having a baby would know how to manage at home any better than I do.

And this is all that I have it in me to write at this moment. I'm sick today, as I was yesterday, so my mind is even mushier than usual. Rest while baby rests. Here I go.

No comments:

Post a Comment